Day 4: A close friend
A magnificent reminder of the preciousness of living.
Hey Substackers,
The discomfort continues!
Writing after a day like today is…well…challenging.
Today, the hubby and I attended the funeral of our fierce and forceful friend in the beautiful Sussex Downs venue of Pangdean Barn. Actually, it wasn’t a funeral; it was a celebration of life ceremony that was genuinely moving.
46 and diagnosed with cancer only 3 months ago, Clare was a wildfire of life force. Making today, May the 4th, a wonderfully appropriate day to celebrate her life. Yes, she was a Star Wars fan!
However, even after the tears, reminiscing on memories and goodbyes, I still can’t make sense of her passing, to be honest. There was no symptom or warning that her life, and that of her wonderful wife and two gorgeous girls aged only 10 and 6, would be turned upside down in a moment.
Damn, we miss her and the life we all shared with her, her wife and the girls on this quite normal street in Brighton. Those taken-for-granted mundane moments have taken on a preciousness now.
I want them back. I want to claw back the normality of what everyday life was like before. When we busied ourselves with work, school runs, BBQ’s in the garden, Guitar Hero and karaoke under the laser lights of weekend late-night kitchen soirees with the kids.
At moments like these, life takes on clarity. A magnificent reminder of the preciousness of living.
This a cliche that’s bandied around regularly, but cliches exist for a reason.
It’s true…
Life IS precious. Life IS short. Life IS unpredictable.
Let’s celebrate it.
I used to think black-and-white thinking was only for the narrow-minded. That there were many nuances and shades of grey to be considered. But...
Like I say, there’s a clarity that, while thankfully I’ve only experienced a couple of times in my life when someone close dies, it is a brutal reminder of the fragility of living.
It reminds me of a journal entry I wrote around the time of hearing about Clare’s diagnosis when I had a too-rare moment of clear thinking.
It went like this:
Things You CAN’T Control
Other people’s opinions
How other people see you
Other peoples standards
What people do or don’t say
How other people react
Other people’s reactions
Action of others
Things You CAN Control
You’re own opinion
How you see yourself
You’re own standards and values
What you say or do
How you react
The actions you’ll take next…
Life IS precious. Life IS short. Life IS unpredictable.
What actions will you take next?
Until tomorrow…