🛏️ 🌹 It's not a bed of dahlias

Warning: this sweary post contains the ‘P-M’ word. It is written by a grumpy woman who no longer refuses to be a good girl 🤬

Floral drawing practice: Dahlia

“Shall we try HRT”

“Um….OK”

That was it. After that conversation with my GP, I finally realised I might be a grown-up—a middle-aged woman—approaching—well, not even approaching but in the thick of ‘the change’.

😱 The Peri-Menopause 😱

Oh f***k.
Me?
No, surely not.
I’m still 25, right?!

The inexplicable way I‘ve been feeling might not be my thyroid condition. The anaemia I was diagnosed with and ignored for a while before treating it (oops). The dreaded feeling of depression, anxiety and burnout I’ve only just managed to fend off these past few months. All accompanied by aching joints, unbelievable fatigue, a sense of impending doom, frustration and anger….oh the anger!

Nope.
Perhaps it was just my hormones?

I hate that word. Just.

Like it’s easy.

You just take a pill.
Just stick a patch on it.
Just get a good night’s sleep.
Just exercise.
Just eat well.
Just breathe and practice mindfulness.
Just be grateful.
Just woman up and get on with it.

Well, just f***k off!

It’s not easy, I’ve been a pain in the arse these past few months, and I’m tired.

On the plus side, I’m immensely enjoying the element of me that feels like she can speak up like this more. I can complain, get angry, and stop being so damn nice.

I can write unapologetic posts like this.
Because I’m no longer as interested in being liked.

Oh, alright, I admit I’m not quite there yet; the people-pleasing tendencies, conditioned since I was knee-high to a grasshopper, don’t disappear overnight!
But I’m certainly less worried about that now.

The plus side of going through this change is that I’m finally getting to know what I like and don’t like—not what others tell me I should like or how I should feel. And that’s liberating.

I like drawing, I like swearing, and I like not having to be good all of the time.

I would love to have given this advice to younger me. But somehow, I know I needed to go through the tension, frustration, and downright anger to come out on the other side.

Like art-making, going through any change is a process; it’s a practice.

I won't always get it right. I’ll fall back on bad habits and rely on old thinking patterns, but all with a greater awareness of who I am. Wisdom really does come with age.

Stay creative, my friends.

Dahlia practice this week

🎨 Creative Inspiration for your week ahead

🖍️ Fineliner Drawing Tip

Use a fineliner pen that is running out! You can slowly build up the ink for subtler tones and greater blending.

Is this the right way of using the tools? Who knows! 🤷‍♀️
Creativity is about finding YOUR methods to help define YOUR language for making art.

Let me know how you get on if you try it 😀

🧑🏻‍🎨 A Productivity Reboot

As a productivity coach for my day job, I love this graphic created by

Brenda Harris

who writes the Substack ‘On The Creative Road’. It’s not only a beautifully designed illustration, but it will also show you how to get your mojo back.

You can apply it as much to your regular work—whatever that looks like for you (from full-time knowledge workers to stay-at-home parents)—but also to your creative work. Especially your creative work!

Quick Note on Productivity

🎼 Playlist Recommendation - 💕 Love Supreme

Ahead of the Love Supreme Jazz Festival at the beautiful Glynde Place, the hubby, Daisy and I will be attending next weekend, I’ve been getting in the mood with this (unofficial) Love Supreme 2024 playlist.

It's a nostalgic step back in time and a toe-tapping feast of delight that will get your body moving and your heart appreciating the joy of jazz-inspired music.

💬 And Finally…A Quote to Live By

This is a timely quote for this post and one of my favourites. A quote to inspire your art and the way you live your life:

“If you obey all of the rules, you miss all the fun.”

~ Katherine Hepburn, actor